Had my first farmer boy tonight...

Well, tonight was the first night I tried a Farmer Boy Burger. Let me be the first on this blog (and the only one) to say "I'll be back!" Farmer Boy's Burgers is on Alvarado, right off the 10 freeway, in back of downtown. It may not be the best spot at night and it is sort of hidden, but very well worth the find! I had the Farmer Boy Burger, which came with 1 big ass beef patty, cheese, avacado, lettuce, salmonella-- i mean tomato, and a warm buttery bun. Because they were out of fries, i opted for the fried Zucchini, que estavan tan calientes que me queme el osico, and washed it down with a refreshing Pepsi. The price was moderate, I was very impressed with the service and the food was totally worth it. Go now if you haven't been there!

Audio depravation

Mi pinche IPOD is on the fritz! I was loading new music into it, then I unplugged it when I finished. When I tried to start it, it says "No Music". It has absolutely NADA in it!! Im soooooooo bummed about it....it's kinda the soundtrack to my life. Vamos a ver que onda con la mugre manana!

Count to 10 slowly.....now walk away.

This happened in April, but I thought I'd share it because it was still fresh on my mind.
My coworker (Amiga, who is one of my best friends) came in to my office pale faced and glassy eyed. She set her papers down on my desk, looked me straight in the face and told me that she overheard a conversation my manager was having with our General Manager about letting me go. I can't say I was very surprised; tension had been building lately and we all knew someone was gonna get axed, I just didn't think it would be me. We all expected RM, the 30 something dimwitted idiot who talks, walks, and laughs like he's retarded (hence the RM, "Retrasado Mental") to get the boot. Or maybe Rokero, the musical genius with an attitude problem. Nope. Me tocaba a mi. As I began to process what she told me, the intercom in my office went off, " Alex, can you please come to the conference room downstairs." "Sure, on my way," I responded. My throat dried up, and I felt my eyes starting to well up. Amiga grabs my arm and says " what are you going to do now?" "Nothing, roll with the punches. It's all good. Everything is gonna be alright," I said as I took a deep breath trying to calm myself down.

I was walking the walk of shame. It's only 10 steps from my office to the hallway, but walking it seemed to take a lifetime. I started planning in my head. I would try to fight for my job, after all I had enough dirt to take down my manager and a few other employees. I would raise hell, key their cars, flatten their tires, sugar their gas tanks and maybe bust someone's window. Maybe. I reached the hallway, pressed the elevator button but I couldn't wait. I opened the stairwell door and started down. Maybe this is just what I need to kick my ass back to Texas, I thought.

I reached the 2nd floor door.

I paused for a second.

Inhaled deeply.

I grabbed the door handle and flung it open. I was caught off guard by my manager waiting there for me. He stops me before I go into the conference room. "I have some news that may not be very good," he says. "Yeah, I know." I was trying to push him into the conference room before anyone came out and heard him fire me. I could also still hear Amiga in the stairwell behind me trying to listen, but I didn't really care about that. After all, she was the one that warned me before it happened. How many other friends would do that for you?

"We'll, this is always hard, you know," he says. "Yeah," I muttered. He took a long, slow breath. He looks down, then shifts his eyes back on me. I am intently staring at his face now. I notice the long wrinkles running along his forehead, very reminiscent of a map of the middle east. I get a whiff of his breath, a foul cauliflower odor. "The reason...we brought you down here....is ...to let you know......."

I know why you brought me down here. Just do it already. Quickly. Fcuk! You're killing me!

"....to let you know......today is April Fool's day. April Fool's!" He bursts into laughter. Amiga comes up behind me and hugs me and says "April Fool's, friend!" As I'm standing there, I feel the color drain from my face. I feel a huge knot in my throat and I can't really react. I smile, wearily, and make my way back to my office. Once I'm there, I actually process what just happened and feel really stupid. Not angry, just stupid.

Since then, Amiga has apologized more than 30 times. She has no reason to. It was a prank. A very good one, and I will admit that because I tend to be a prick to my coworkers, well deserved.

Porn Pals?

Is it ever ok to watch porn with another guy? Sunday, as I got home, my landlord was in my place with 2 cable guys switching out the cable box. It took a while because the first box wasn't loading the signal, blah, blah, blah. When the second box was finally able to load, channels started coming in. Cable guy 1 and landlord went back to the main house (I live in a detached garage apt.) and cable guy 2, who was a hispanic guy in his mid 20's, stays in my apt. flipping through the different stations, then turns and says to me "Remember this number: 4-9-8." I thought it was an unlock code for the box or remote or something. "What's that for" I replied. "Free porn!" he says. He then switches to channel 498 and it's the Playboy channel....in Spanish. Lots of lovely latin beauties popped up on the screen. There was really nothing explicit going on, but there was ass and tittage. "You know, it takes me a while to get into this" he says, "all the moaning and stuff is in Spanish." I laughed and asked "how can you moan in Spanish?" "You know, English porn is like 'uuhhh uuhhh yeah yeah', but the spanish is all 'aayy aayy ooy ooy'." Laugh. Silence. Awkwardness. He's still watching porn in my room next to me. Then he sits on my couch and turns up the volume, not excessively loud, but enough to hear the singing porn star on the tube; then singing porn star turns to blonde slut and they start making out. "Damn, that's what I'm talking about" he says. Just then, the footsteps of cable guy 1 coming in interrupted his concentration and he quickly changed the channel to Family Guy. Right then, my heart started pounding, like if you had been caught by your parents doing something bad. I'm a grown guy. I don't live with my parents, and I'd lie if I said I've never watched porn before, but it's not an experience I like to share with random strangers. Now, I'm all for doing what you wanna do at your place behind closed doors in the privacy of your own home, but if your gonna watch porn at someone elses' house, please be considerate of the other person. Next time bring a pizza. Or napkins.

One man's trash...

I don't have many best friends. I have lots of good friends, and plenty of acquaintances, but a select few that I can actually be myself with. Shocker, huh? Recently, one of my bff's, (yes, I know) called to butter me up. He was being very nice, very interested in my current goings on and very attentive to my rants and raves. When that conversation ended, there was a slight silence followed by the following statement: "Ummm, how would you feel if I took Petunia to a ball game? Would it bother you?" Yes, my ex girlfriend. Our relationship (Petunia and I) ended amicably. There were no punches thrown or sugar-in-the-gas-tank-stories. We merely decided to part ways. We had the same circle of friends, so it's not like he looked her up randomly. I played the whole "she's not my girl anymore so you can do what you want with whoever you want" speech. He didn't buy it. He finally said that because it was still a semi-sore subject for me, he would refrain from asking her. I will spare you the rest of the convo, because it went back and forth for a while, but my question to you is should I really care if he takes my ex girl to a game with him? He ended up asking her anyway but she couldn't take the time off to go with him. Surprising. Pendejo.

Guilty?

My buddy called me anti-social this week. Apoco? I will admit that I kinda want things now. If someone calls me and says we'll meet at 7, and I'm hungry now, I'll say no thanks, then I'll go eat alone and go home. I rarely have patience to wait anymore--not just for food, but all things. I think that is the main problem with my dating life as well. You have no idea how many dates I've cancelled cause it's not when I want and where I want. I'd rather go home alone. Maybe I enjoy the silence too much? On the flip side, I eat lunch with my co-worker daily, and I enjoy the company she gives. I don't know....perhaps I've become somewhat anti-social. Or maybe I just don't like you. If I did, I'd try harder.

Mi ciudad

well, i technically don't live in pasadena anymore, but i still spend 90% of my time here. i "officially" lived here 3 years and i absolutely love this town! the restaurants, museums, the rose parade, colorado blvd, and the ambiance here is like no other. i can totally see me settling down here in the future.