Count to 10 slowly.....now walk away.

This happened in April, but I thought I'd share it because it was still fresh on my mind.
My coworker (Amiga, who is one of my best friends) came in to my office pale faced and glassy eyed. She set her papers down on my desk, looked me straight in the face and told me that she overheard a conversation my manager was having with our General Manager about letting me go. I can't say I was very surprised; tension had been building lately and we all knew someone was gonna get axed, I just didn't think it would be me. We all expected RM, the 30 something dimwitted idiot who talks, walks, and laughs like he's retarded (hence the RM, "Retrasado Mental") to get the boot. Or maybe Rokero, the musical genius with an attitude problem. Nope. Me tocaba a mi. As I began to process what she told me, the intercom in my office went off, " Alex, can you please come to the conference room downstairs." "Sure, on my way," I responded. My throat dried up, and I felt my eyes starting to well up. Amiga grabs my arm and says " what are you going to do now?" "Nothing, roll with the punches. It's all good. Everything is gonna be alright," I said as I took a deep breath trying to calm myself down.

I was walking the walk of shame. It's only 10 steps from my office to the hallway, but walking it seemed to take a lifetime. I started planning in my head. I would try to fight for my job, after all I had enough dirt to take down my manager and a few other employees. I would raise hell, key their cars, flatten their tires, sugar their gas tanks and maybe bust someone's window. Maybe. I reached the hallway, pressed the elevator button but I couldn't wait. I opened the stairwell door and started down. Maybe this is just what I need to kick my ass back to Texas, I thought.

I reached the 2nd floor door.

I paused for a second.

Inhaled deeply.

I grabbed the door handle and flung it open. I was caught off guard by my manager waiting there for me. He stops me before I go into the conference room. "I have some news that may not be very good," he says. "Yeah, I know." I was trying to push him into the conference room before anyone came out and heard him fire me. I could also still hear Amiga in the stairwell behind me trying to listen, but I didn't really care about that. After all, she was the one that warned me before it happened. How many other friends would do that for you?

"We'll, this is always hard, you know," he says. "Yeah," I muttered. He took a long, slow breath. He looks down, then shifts his eyes back on me. I am intently staring at his face now. I notice the long wrinkles running along his forehead, very reminiscent of a map of the middle east. I get a whiff of his breath, a foul cauliflower odor. "The reason...we brought you down here....is ...to let you know......."

I know why you brought me down here. Just do it already. Quickly. Fcuk! You're killing me!

"....to let you know......today is April Fool's day. April Fool's!" He bursts into laughter. Amiga comes up behind me and hugs me and says "April Fool's, friend!" As I'm standing there, I feel the color drain from my face. I feel a huge knot in my throat and I can't really react. I smile, wearily, and make my way back to my office. Once I'm there, I actually process what just happened and feel really stupid. Not angry, just stupid.

Since then, Amiga has apologized more than 30 times. She has no reason to. It was a prank. A very good one, and I will admit that because I tend to be a prick to my coworkers, well deserved.